A Child's Self-Identity

A child’s self-identity is completed by the age of around 5 years of age.

Children are like sponges. They are developing who they are as well as life itself, from the day they come into this world. They listen to everything you say. They pay attention to everything that you do. They will absorb anything they find interest in. Perhaps this is how a child prodigy is borne.

Do you notice that when you are praising a child…you can see the beam of joy on their face? You are enforcing - this is who that child is. You are showing pleasure and for the child, they feel this is what is expected of them - this type of behavior. The child will respond in positive ways.

Now…if you are speaking of the child’s negativity…you are enforcing this is who the child is. The child may start to display this type of behavior that you are referencing. The child will respond in ways that meets this expectation.

Whether you are speaking to the child directly or indirectly (the child can hear you speaking about them) you are defining their character.

I recently witnessed a concerning family talking about a child’s recent negative behavior. The problem was that the 4 year old child was sitting right in the middle of their conversation. The child heard all that was being said about them. The adults in the room seemed to act as if the child was invisible audibly, paying no attention at all to the child. After a little while during the conversation the child started to act mischievously, as if to say, “look at me, I can show you that I am the person that you are speaking of”. No one seemed to notice that this behavior was in direct response to their conversation, but it very was obvious to me.

Think for a moment if you were in earshot of family or friends and you heard them speaking positively about you, your character. Would you feel happy? More confident? Proud? Pleased?

Now…the reverse…speaking very negatively about you. Would you be horrified? Embarrassed? Perhaps thinking OMG I need to change my behavior?! Yes. You would want to change your behavior because you are an adult.

As a child? No. You are being molded into who you are by the way people respond to you…every second of every day.

Your subconscious believes everything it hears repeatedly, from the time you are born to the time you are about 15 years of age. Even as an adult you may feel you realize better what your subconscious is telling you…but it will constantly remind you over and over that the negative is true.

Negative subconscious beliefs cause symptoms later in your life. They will show up in physical or mental pain, stopping you from moving forward in your life. That’s where healing with hypnotherapy comes in.

Please try and stop these subconscious pitfalls by not speaking anything negative in a child’s presence, making sure it is all positive and nurturing. Everything the child sees or hears is shaping his or her future self.

Also, remember that if you are talking negatively about a person that this child identifies with, it will also shape who they believe they are.

Please reach out to me if you are experiencing issues such as this. I welcome the chance to change a perspective that is often overlooked for generations.